[BENT_8]

I just witnessed one of the funniest things I've ever seen in a supermarket.
Went down to our local Woolies to grab a few things for the Wife and decided to venture down to the toilet paper section to see what all the fuss is about. Now, from listening to all reports, I was expecting to find one of two things, either the shelves empty or a frenzy that could only be rivalled by the old boxing day sales, well, I couldn't be any further from the truth, what I found could best be described as what you'd see around a drug peddler on the street with people slowly shuffling around looking over their shoulders and whispering to one another about how much to grab and how to get it out.
I was like WTF, its toilet paper and if you're that worried that people think you're a freak for stockpiling it, chances are, you are.

So im standing in the checkout isle and two little Asian ladies are in front of me, they look spent and have their trolleys piled up with their 4 packets of toilet paper rations and the rest of Handy Ultra bloody kitchen towel and I got to thinking, they've probably been to every supermarket within a 50 mile radius and have now resigned themselves to substituting kitchen towel for toilet paper and it made me think, don't worry about Panadol, prescription medication or antivirals, what you're gonna need is liberal amounts of Aloe vera for your red raw **** cheeks.

So I turn to my Son and say in front of half a dozen people, if and when I contract Corona Virus and it becomes so bad that im ****ting through the eye of a needle and therefore would require a stockpile of toilet paper im just going to stand up from the toilet bowl, **** cheeks covered in waste product and run myself a shower.