ATTENTION ALL! Suspicious persons spotted at GOR cruise!

[The Goodz]

NOTE: The following story is purely ficticious, is intended to entertain, and no offence is intended to anybody. So, read on!

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It has come to my attention that at the recent Great Ocean Road cruise on the 4th Dec 2005, a number of very suspicious persons have been spotted throughout the day, causing some concern amongst the club members and especially the E-Series Owners Club management committee. The following images and information have been collected from the club's 2 primary photographers who first noticed these suspicious persons, and also from various members after been questioned. We have done our best at trying to collate and piece together the evidence to try and work out what was going on.

Suspicious Person #1

The following person is someone who has not been seen at any cruises or meets for as long as many of us can remember, but some believe that he has in fact attended meets/cruises many years ago, and perhaps that he has returned with a vengeance of some sort.

As you can see from this photo he is clearly someone who doesn't want to be seen, as evidenced by his unsavoury gesture to our photographer.
http://users.bigpond.net.au/thegoodz...ious/jack1.jpg

In this photo we can see the hat of a third party he is dealing with, and it could quite possibly be something illegal.
http://users.bigpond.net.au/thegoodz...ious/jack2.jpg

You can see here he is nervous and is constantly on the lookout...
http://users.bigpond.net.au/thegoodz...ious/jack3.jpg

Whatever illegal business he is dealing in, it is quite clear that the transfer of illegal good/services is about to be carried out.
http://users.bigpond.net.au/thegoodz...ious/jack4.jpg

Here he can be seen talking to the above mentioned third party, quite possibly discussing what to do with his illegally obtained goods/devices.
http://users.bigpond.net.au/thegoodz...ious/jack5.jpg

It is obvious he has something under his shirt, we can only use our imagination as to what kind of evil lies under that shirt, and what he intends to do with it.
http://users.bigpond.net.au/thegoodz...ious/jack6.jpg

This is the last known photo of this suspicious person before he mysteriously disappeared again, we believe he may be waving goodbye to whatever it is he is about to destroy or alter.
http://users.bigpond.net.au/thegoodz...ious/jack7.jpg

Suspicious Person #2

We believe that this could quite possibly be the illegal third party suspicious person #1 was dealing with. It is obvious that this person is evil, as evidenced by the photograph.
http://users.bigpond.net.au/thegoodz...ious/sunny.jpg

Suspicious Person #3

The person pictured here is believed to be an escaped lunatic from a local mental asylum. This ties in with other reports of escaped lunatics in the local media.
http://users.bigpond.net.au/thegoodz...s/lunatic1.jpg

The following persons are believed to be friends of the above person, escaped from the same mental asylum, with the exception of the person on the far left, who is sought for other reasons.
http://users.bigpond.net.au/thegoodz...s/lunatic2.jpg

Suspicious Person #4

This person, while not likely dangerous, is still a very serious concern. He is mentally unstable, claiming that he is the one true God. His fanatical preaching has disturbed many locals and has been pestering the club members all day.
http://users.bigpond.net.au/thegoodz...cious/god1.jpg

He is even wearing propaganda clothing, trying to influence the local youth no doubt by wearing a contemporary hooded garment.
http://users.bigpond.net.au/thegoodz...cious/god2.jpg

Thankfully however his preaching doesn't seem to be working too well, the locals being to intelligent for him. After some time the locals are getting used to him and are distancing themselves from him.
http://users.bigpond.net.au/thegoodz...cious/god3.jpg

However, some other suspicious persons have gotten rather fed up with this person, and have attempted to do something about it.
http://users.bigpond.net.au/thegoodz...cious/god4.jpg
http://users.bigpond.net.au/thegoodz...cious/god5.jpg

Suspicious Person #5

The person doing the kicking in the second last image of the previous suspicious person has been seen around town quite frequently as of late, and many believe he is some sort of sadistic cannibal. Judging by the following image, he is obviously an unscrupulous character.
http://users.bigpond.net.au/thegoodz...ous/steven.jpg

Suspicious Person #6

This person can be seen in the last image of suspicious person #4, and seems to be more of a pest than someone who is dangerous. This person is generally unintelligible, and makes little or no sense when he is talking. From what we gather he is just a local bum that likes to pester people out of sheer boredom.
http://users.bigpond.net.au/thegoodz...cious/bum1.jpg

Our photographer managed to get close enough to get a decent mug shot so you know who to stay away from.
http://users.bigpond.net.au/thegoodz...cious/bum2.jpg

This person is extremely difficult to get rid of, and even helped himself to our BBQ. However we let it go because he probably hasn't eaten for months.
http://users.bigpond.net.au/thegoodz...cious/bum3.jpg

The only person who managed to communicate with this person is another suspicious person who was obviously trying to make some money out of him by taking his portrait and then selling it back to him. However, to his credit he did manage to lead this bum away.
http://users.bigpond.net.au/thegoodz...cious/bum4.jpg

Suspicious Person #7

The following person has been tied to suspicious person #6 as witnessed by the previous photo. We believe he is paparazzi, trying to attain images of people from outside of the local community for the local tabloids. We have no doubt that strange and falseful stories are being invented to go along with his images for the entertainment of the reasonably unintelligent locals.
http://users.bigpond.net.au/thegoodz...paparazzi1.jpg
http://users.bigpond.net.au/thegoodz...paparazzi2.jpg

He has been spotted in the following vehicle, a modified dark green EF falcon. He has been following the club members throughout the cruise.
http://users.bigpond.net.au/thegoodz...paparazzi3.jpg

However after seeing this last image, we were quite disturbed. It is clear from this image that this paparazzi person is actually some sort of mutant with several arms and legs which he seemingly can extend as long as he wants, as he is holding the camera out the left window with 2 hands, while also steering and changing gears on the right hand side of the car, as well as controlling the pedals and also supporting himself outside the vehicle with his numerous legs. He has also used an extra arm to hold the video camera outside the opposite window.
http://users.bigpond.net.au/thegoodz...paparazzi4.jpg

If you have any information about the above mentioned suspicious persons, do not hesitate to contact myself or the club management committee with any information you may have. The sooner we get these unsavoury characters off our streets, the better.

Alex