General Motors Helpline

[The MaDDeSTMaN]

What if people bought cars like they buy computers? General Motors doesn't have a "help line" for people who don't know how to drive, because people don't buy cars like they buy computers -- but imagine if they did.

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HELPLINE: "General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?"
CUSTOMER: "I got in my car and closed the door, and nothing happened!"
HELPLINE: "Did you put the key in the ignition and turn it?"
CUSTOMER: "What's an ignition?"
HELPLINE: "It's a starter motor that draws current from your battery and turns over the engine."
CUSTOMER: "Ignition? Motor? ? Engine? How come I have to know all of these technical terms just to use my car?"

************************************************** *********

HELPLINE: "General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?"
CUSTOMER: "My car ran fine for a week, and now it won't go anywhere!"
HELPLINE: "Is the gas tank empty?"
CUSTOMER: "Huh? How do I know?"
HELPLINE: "There's a little gauge on the front panel, with a needle, and markings from 'E' to 'F'. Where is the needle pointing?"
CUSTOMER: "I see an 'E' but no 'F'."
HELPLINE: "You see the 'E' and just to the right is the 'F'.
CUSTOMER: "No, just to the right of the first 'E' is a 'V'.
HELPLINE: "A 'V'?!?"
CUSTOMER: "Yeah, there's a 'C', an 'H', the first 'E', then a 'V', followed by 'R', 'O', 'L' ..."
HELPLINE: "No, no, no sir! That's the front of the car. When you sit behind the steering wheel, that's the panel I'm talking about."
CUSTOMER: "That steering wheel thingy-- Is that the round thing that honks the horn?"
HELPLINE: "Yes, among other things."
CUSTOMER: "The needle's pointing to 'E'. What does that mean?"
HELPLINE: "It means that you have to visit a gasoline vendor and purchase some more gasoline. You can install it yourself, or pay the vendor to install it for you."
CUSTOMER: "What? I paid $12,000 for this car! Now you tell me that I have to keep buying more components? I want a car that comes with everything built in!"

[The MaDDeSTMaN]

"CHEVROL" - yes, it says that on everyones fuel gauge, doesn't it? :

[mcflux]

HELPLINE: "Thorpey's GM Helpline, how may I help you?"
CUSTOMER: "Yeah mate, I bought this VL..."
HELPLINE: *click* beep beep beep

[Psycho Chicken]

I thought you would of said something about Vin inventing GM!

[mcflux]

Now why would Vin go and do a thing like that?

[kiwikid]

Originally Posted by Ghia5L

HELPLINE: "Thorpey's GM Helpline, how may I help you?"
CUSTOMER: "Yeah mate, I bought this VL..."
HELPLINE: *click* beep beep beep

how about....

THORPEYS GM HELPLINE: hello, how may i help you?
CUSTOMER: i want to buy a VL but my mum wont let me.
THORPEY: tell her its fully sik........

[mcflux]

e Jsmilie:

Much better than my joke!

[kiwikid]

you forgot the first --> : on the last smilie