blonde joke ha ha funny

[bob 351]

A blind man wanders into an all girls biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a beer.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waiter, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.
In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,
"Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it's only fair, since you are blind, that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I'm a 6 foot tall, 175 lb. Blonde with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters,
"No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times
__________________
pinup

[05MkIIFutura]

ill pay that

[BZINGA]

: : : :

[MRAH33]

10 out of 10 for that hahahah

[bob 351]

i love blond jokes

[bob 351]

come on guys blonde jokes

[uranium_death]

Why do blondes wear underpants?

To keep their ankles warm.

[rigs]

Why do blondes keep empty milk cartons in the fridge?

Incase they want a black coffee.

[rigs]

Counldnt resist this one:

What do women and prawns have in common?

Their heads are full of ***** but the pink bits taste great

[Laminge]

Why will minge end up closing this thread...

[bob 351]

oh please dont all in good humour but if it gets dirty yeah

[MITCHAY]

Originally Posted by rigs

Counldnt resist this one:

What do women and prawns have in common?

Their heads are full of ***** but the pink bits taste great

LMFAO!

[bob 351]

if a blonde and a redhead fell of a building at the same time who would hit the ground first

















the redhead would because the blonde would have to stop and ask for directions

[kyro_02]

more I wanna hear more !!!

[Night Runner]

A car was driving down the street when all of a sudden it started swerving. The car was going back and forth till someone with a cell phone called the police. A police officer pulled the car over. A blonde rolls down the window and says, " Officer, I'm so glad you are here. I saw a tree in the road, then I saw another. So I had to swerve to keep from hitting it!" The officer looks at her, then says, "Ma'am, that's your air freshener."

[Night Runner]

Couple more......

What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is working?
A: Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No.

Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and bigfoot?
A: Bigfoot has been sighted.

[bob 351]

what looks good on a blondes ears













her ankles

[kyro_02]

Aight i found some for ya'll

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.

The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.

He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.

Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.

The blonde started laughing.

This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.

This time the blonde laughed even harder.

Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.

The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.

The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"

[Night Runner]

Originally Posted by kyro_02

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.

The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.

He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.

Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.

The blonde started laughing.

This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.

This time the blonde laughed even harder.

Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.

The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.

The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"

LMAO!! Classic! :

[Schmee]

Or as my wife says...

PROUD AND BLONDE OF IT!

Kev and Ronnie

[Mark351]

Two blondes walking through the bush find some tracks.

'Kangaroo tracks!' says the first blonde.
'No, emu tracks!' says the second blonde.

...and while they argue, they both get hit by a train.

[F6T]

what do you call a blonde after a party - a box of assorted creams

[vandrsxr6]

Originally Posted by madxh96

what do you call a blonde after a party - a box of assorted creams

Thats wrong.

what do you call a mole on a blondes bum?

A brain tumour.

[sgt_doofey]

Just so happens that I have some in my inbox this morning......

A Blonde's year in review

January
Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
February
Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.....
Helllloooo!!!.......bottles won't fit in printer !!!
March
Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....
Box said "2-4 years!"
April
Trapped on escalator for hours .... Power went out!!!
May
Tried to make Jelly.....wrong instructions....8 cups of
Water won't fit into those little packets!!!
June
Tried to go water skiing.......couldn't find a lake with a slope.
July
Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later,
The other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!
August
Got locked out of my car in rain storm.....
Car swamped because soft-top was open.
September
The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???
October
Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel.
November
Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days .. Instructions said 1 hour
Per pound and I weigh 108!!
December
Couldn't call 911 ..... "duh".....there's no "eleven"
Button on the stupid phone!!!



A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blond female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut & stormed back in the house.

A little later she came out of her house again went to the mail box and again, opened it, slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?" To which she replied, "There certainly is!. My stupid computer keeps saying, "YOU'VE GOT MAIL!"

[Ives]

True story. (i'll find yous the footage later). Went something like this.

Blonde : "I'm a vegetarian."
Interviewer : "Oh really? so what would be your favourite food"
Blonde : "-listed some vegetarian dishes and then.........chicken"
Interviewer : "I thought you said that you're a vegetarian yet you like chicken"
Blonde : "Yes, I dont eat animals. Chickens are birds"






"Woman with brain is like horse with wings."

-Borat Sagdiev

[sgt_doofey]

Must be the day for getting blonde jokes in my inbox...

CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the
Mechanic it died.

After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She
Says, "What's the story?"

He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"

She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"



SPEEDING TICKET

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very
Nicely if he could see her license.

She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act
Together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then
Today you expect me to show it to you!"



RIVER WALK

There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees
Another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts,
"How can I get to the other side?"

The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and
Shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."




AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said
That her body hurt wherever she touched it.

"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."

The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast and
Screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed in even
More. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she
Pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched
Made her scream.

The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?

"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."

"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken"



BLONDE ON THE SUN

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The
Russian said, "We were the first in space!" The American said, "We were
The first on the moon!"

The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the
Sun!"

The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their
Heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said
The Russian.

To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're
Going at night!"



IN A VACUUM

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn.
She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her
Question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your
Name, can you hear it?"

She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"




FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two
New dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde
Responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one
Was named Timex.

Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like
That?"

"HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blond. "They're
Watch dogs!"

[bob 351]

a cop walking down the road on a sunday see two blondes sitting in aUSED CAR THEY HAD JUST BOUGHT HE ASKED THEM WHAT THEY WERE DOINGone said to him we were told that if we bought a car of a used car salesman we would get srewed the poleman said your point being the other blonde replies
















where still waiting

[flappist]

Originally Posted by bob 351

a cop walking down the road on a sunday see two blondes sitting in aUSED CAR THEY HAD JUST BOUGHT HE ASKED THEM WHAT THEY WERE DOINGone said to him we were told that if we bought a car of a used car salesman we would get srewed the poleman said your point being the other blonde replies
















where still waiting

http://babelfish.altavista.com ....... nup even that won't translate it.......

[BA_BOSS]

New Car

A blonde tried to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it, because the car had 250,000 miles on it. One day, she told her problem to a brunette she worked with at a salon. The brunette told her, “There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it’s not legal.”

“That doesn’t matter,” replied the blonde,”if I only can sell the car.”

“Okay,” said the brunette. “Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop.Tell him I sent you and he will turn the counter in your car back to 50,000 miles. Then it should not be a problem to sell your car anymore.”

The following weekend, the blonde made the trip to the mechanic. About one month after that, the brunette asked the blonde, “Did you sell your car?”

“No,” replied the blonde, “why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it.”

[BA_BOSS]

There were three blondes walking down a beach on day when they found a magic lamp. The first blond rubbed it and a Genie came out and said I WILL GIVE YOU EACH 1 WISH. So the first blond said I want to be 25% smarter so the genie made her 25% smarter and she walked away Happy. The second blonde wanted to be 50% smarter so the same thing happened to her. Then the third blond wanted to be 100% smarter so the genie turned her into a man!