y do holden drivers pick on ford drivers

Hey guys my b.f was on a local holden fourm the other day and much to my suprise he come across this.. just cheak theses out so i thougt if we all put our heads to gether we could come up with a few of our own.. and get back as there so call holden drivers...

Want to laugh at Ford? Here are some Ford jokes, as if the car isn't a big enough joke in itself!!

The Ford AU ute has cup and thermos holders built into the tailgate. So when you push the ute you can have a drink at the same time.

Friends don't let friends drive Fords.

If all the vehicles in New Zealand were 'Built Ford Tough', the shoulders of New Zealand's highways would be a much more crowded place.

Have you driven over a Ford lately?

Have you outdriven a Ford lately?

This is Holden country and on quiet nights you can hear Fords rusting.

I could never keep a Ford under me, I was always under the Ford.

I'd rather push a Holden than drive a Ford.

Ford Escort me to a Holden dealer.

Buy a Ford and you buy the 'best'. Drive a mile and walk the rest.

Sometimes the best jokes are true. On May 12, Ford announced a recall on it's Expeditions and F-series trucks. Faulty lug nuts could cause the tyres to FALL OFF. It just keeps getting better.

SPEED KILLS
Drive a Ford and live forever.

A man pulled up next to a little girl walking home from school and said "If you get in, I'll give you a lollypop." The girl kept walking. Following along slowly, the man said "Come on and get in the car with me and I'll give you two lolly pops." She kept her eyes on the sidewalk and continued on her way. The man said "Get in with me and I'll give you this whole bag of lollypops!" Finally, the girl turned and said "Look daddy, YOU bought the Ford, YOU ride in it!!"

If you're baffled why Ford is actually competing in ATCC, don't be. They have teams of mechanics working around the clock for a week, just so they can run a race.

Ashes to ashes,
Dust to dust,
If is wasn't for Ford
our tools would be rust.

Next time some Ford fanatic claims Ford means "First on race day" remind them that anything could be fast if a team of mechanics worked on it all week so it would last long enough to run a race before needing another weeks work.

Have you ever seen a ford pick-up, they must of been out there for hours. Thanks to T. Pickering.

Flawed Falcon
Thanks to spitfire.


Driving a ford is like the special olympics....even if you win your still a retard
Thanks to S Quiritis


The people who say they would rather push a Ford than drive a Holden usually do.

That's not a leak, my Ford's just marking its territory!

Ford...At least they circled the problem.

Did you know that Ford has a new magnetised bumper?
They needed something to pick up the parts that fell off along the way.

God make s**t, Ford gave it wheels
Thanks to Gordon Povey

Did you know that 98% of all Fords ever built are still on the road?
The other 2% made it home!!
Thanks to Ted Church


Sex is good, Sex is golden, Sex is done in the back of a Holden, if you dont like it or if you get bored, be a faggot and f**k in a ford.
Thanks to Leanne Shaw who received it from Shayn Rencher

FPV stands for en Povarse Vehicles
Thanks to John & Helen

Keep out motorways clear, beautiful and user friendly.
So leave your Ford at home.
Thanks to Lynda O'Dwyer


A guy walks into a service station and says to the attendant
"hey have you got a petrol cap for a ford"
and the attendant says "yeah sure sounds like a fair swap"
Thanks to jdc

God created s**t and ford made it move
Thanks to Stephen Boyd

Q: How do you double the value of a Ford?
A: Put gas in it.

Q: How is a golf ball different from a Ford?
A: You can drive a golf ball 200 yards.

Q: Why are there footpaths beside streets?
A: So Ford owners have a safe place to walk home.

Q: Why is New Zealand so far in debt?
A: Jenny Shipley gets chauffered in a Ford.

Q: How much wood could a Ford ute haul if a Ford ute could haul wood?
A: As much as the Holden ute towing it.

Q: Why are the new Ford Falcons more aerodynamic?
A: So they will save the Holden petrol when the Holden tows them away.

Q: How come Ford makes tractors and Holden doesn't?
A: Holden can't get one to run that slow!

Q: What does the GT stand for on a Ford?
A: Glued together!

Q: Why did Ford start putting magnetic bumpers on the back of Ford pick-ups? -
A: So it would catch all the parts that fell off the guys Ford pick-up.
Thanks to T, Pickering for this one.

Q: How long does it take for a ford falcon to drive from Sydney to Melbourne?
A: Depends on how fast the car carrier takes to get there!
Thanks to RD & AV for this one.

Q: What kind of car did Fred Flinstone drive?
A: A ford of course, and it ain't much different now!
Thanks to RD & AV for this one.

Q: How long can a ford go for with out repairs?
A: Depends if you can leave the ford dealer.
Thanks to Christian Purkiss for this one.

Q: Why does a ford and a tin can have in common?
A: They both rust just as far.
Thanks to Rebecca Nelson for this one.

Q: What does BA stand for?
A: Bad Automobile.
Thanks to Warped_Youth for this one.

Q: What does a ford and a tampon have in common?
A: They both come with tow ropes.
Thanks to Stephen Boyd for this one.

If one or more of these is true, unfortunately, you are driving a Ford...


You look in your rear-view mirror to see two people with their hands on your tailgate.

You constantly receive sympathy cards from the Department of Transportation.

When you are walking across the parking lot, you see a priest performing last rights on your car.

While stopped at traffic lights, other motorists offer to help push to get you started again.

You have preferred customer status at Repco Auto Parts.
You have to stop along side the road at least once a day to pick up parts that have fallen off.

You leave your keys in the ignition and a $20 bill on the dash for gas money in hopes that someone will steal your car.

When you drive though town, people stop what they are doing and just start laughing.

People try to hire you to bring your truck to their house to fog for mosquitos.

In place of a spare tire, you find a pair of running shoes.

F.O.R.D=
first on rubbish dump
Flipped Over Russian Dunebuggy
Fixed or repaired daily

[paul7v7]

i guess it isn't any worse than what some of the Ford guys here say about Holden.

[b2tf]

Oooo. Ouch, so very painful. Some fantastic intellect there, was it compiled in a Centrelink waiting line? :

[Polyal]

tools....

[FordFan86]

90% of those jokes have just had the names swapped for Ford instead of Holden. Haha.

[Dave_au]

Haha, top stuff.

[Citric GT]

Originally Posted by FordFan86

90% of those jokes have just had the names swapped for Ford instead of Holden. Haha.

Just printed out the VL one to give to my brother. I love it!!!

[Pik0]

I couldnt care less about those, i mean ouch they really make me feel bad about driving a Ford...
Im more happy that about 6 of my mates are looking at buying a Ford after they have been Diehard Holden Fans since they were born...

[vztrt]

Originally Posted by FordFan86

90% of those jokes have just had the names swapped for Ford instead of Holden. Haha.

Most of the jokes that are being used are the same joke.

I've noticed lately that the Holden guys need to gang up like homeboys to try to make fun of someone that drives a Ford. Quite amusing.

[FordFan86]

I don't mind them really. Some are quite original. Got my morning laugh.

[SSBUB]

i wanna know why it was ' much to your suprise' that your b/f came across ford bashing in a holden forum? I thought you would expect that from the socially/mentally challenged and die hard fans from both camps.
And hey, someone blew up my avatars donk!
Nooooooooooooooooo!

[big_waity]

I think there is a fair share of anti holden jokes. The thing is, they are just jokes. I certainly am not cut about it. I think its up to the person reading to decide whether they take it personally. Bring it on. I like a little competition.

[TheSneakiness]

I'm gonna play Nostradamus here.

I foresee a closure and banning of some sort.

[Valknutr]

Originally Posted by purrrnlazer1999

The Ford AU ute has cup and thermos holders built into the tailgate. So when you push the ute you can have a drink at the same time.

hahah funny heheh

[Ryan]

lol some pretty funny jokes there.

But really it happens on both sides not just Holden guys giving Ford guys crap but Ford guys giving Holden guys crap aswell and yes ive seen it here a few times and ive been the victim on a couple of occasions.

[RavenLS1]

Originally Posted by VY18s

lol some pretty funny jokes there.

But really it happens on both sides not just Holden guys giving Ford guys crap but Ford guys giving Holden guys crap aswell and yes ive seen it here a few times and ive been the victim on a couple of occasions.

And to think that i didnt already know that!

[Ryan]

Originally Posted by THE_RAVEN

And to think that i didnt already know that!

I was just saying mate.

[Sourbastard]

Originally Posted by THE_RAVEN

And to think that i didnt already know that!

VY18s comment wasnt directed at you, but at the topic in general, and its a fair comment.

I'd say noone is in a position to testify what you do or do not know, except for you and your therapist.

[RavenLS1]

Originally Posted by sourbastard

VY18s comment wasnt directed at you, but at the topic in general, and its a fair comment.

I'd say noone is in a position to testify what you do or do not know, except for you and your therapist.

fair enough and I apologise to VY18's , Sorry :

[Ryan]

lol its sweet mate I wont hold it against you.

[it wasn't me]

the great appeal in stuffing the wife's hk monaro with ford stuff. My whole motivation for this project comes from the local holden fanatics who spend more energy rubbishing fords than building their holdens, same as my mate, he has a tiny penis yet constantly rubbishes my taste in cars. Personally i like anything that is out of the norm'.

[it wasn't me]

im a member of a couple of holden sites and other ford sites too . your (we're) all as bad as one another. just that the anti holden jokes are easier to relate to and so appear funnier to me.

[aualright]

The old Found On Rubbish Dumps is today First On Race Day. That's what matters..!!

[it wasn't me]

Originally Posted by aualright

The old Found On Rubbish Dumps is today First On Race Day. That's what matters..!!

pretty much anything made after the early to mid seventies, be it ford or holden and especially the beloved grunta with it's awesome 265 is just fragile and made to a "price" NOT a "standard". sad throwaway world that we are in these days.... i might log off now 'cause i think i just deppressed myself.

[Blue Oval Mopar Man]

alot of those were made up by troubled primary school children I think ! Most are just stupid ! Some were funny , and the rest just have Ford inserted instead of holden

[Blue Oval Mopar Man]

And puuuuuurnlazer, the reason why so many holden drivers pick on ford drivers is because we are tough enough to take it , which is why there are so many of them ! And besides , why was your boy freind hanging out with homosexuals in the first place ? :evil_laug

[Laminge]

If anyone changes those to tea pots your banned! :P

[FGX-351]

heres one that heard awhile back that i found half decent, " whats one extra feature commodores have over falcons? an extra dipstick in the drivers seat"

[deesun]

Haven't heard the tampon one before so I guess I will give it an airing around my Holden loving friends

[jabba]

Originally Posted by purrrnlazer1999

If you're baffled why Ford is actually competing in ATCC, don't be. They have teams of mechanics working around the clock for a week, just so they can run a race.

Next time some Ford fanatic claims Ford means "First on race day" remind them that anything could be fast if a team of mechanics worked on it all week so it would last long enough to run a race before needing another weeks work.

I wonder what those tossers are thinking now that Ford took 1st,2nd and 3rd for the ATCC.... and the fact that Ford and Marcos have won it for the last 2 years....